What if I announced that therough this single process I have discovered
me. The people I have met have helped answer more questions than I would have guessed…
She taught me that I talk about the hugeness of it all
She explained that I easily comfort anyone inside of my orbit
She made me be blunt and honest and not leave things up to interpretation.
You taught me that anxiety is what I have been going through.
And that traps the true me at various points of life.
Its hard for me to do and over think and work in the moment all together
This heavy burden that makes me notice the knot in-between my clavicle or the lack of steady breathing, or how my blood flows inside of me. Its maddening honestly.
Honestly, I’m seeking to learn to reside in where I sit.
Big blue house
On the ver first floor.
In a room full of dreams, sadness and happiness, and unused moments of rubberized passion.
I’m understanding that though I may move as a single man in this atmosphere, My movements alter how those other feet move around me.
To be very alone in this world. Plus…
The idea of sex scares me sometimes. Theres a build up to it, like if you don’t get it right then the foundation could dust away and be left in the quickness of cum. The tension of playing the dance is a strong cord that you walk hoping that you don’t hit the ground beneath the line you traverse. But I
need not see it that way. If one night of passion that ends up with me not being able to get it up because of various stressful thoughts arise defeats everything that got me to that point… so be it. Theres truly no love and understanding of the human condition if she decided to judge my state. Thats what I need to keep telling myself. Fuck it, the world will keep spinning and I will continue to learn more about the man named…